Weddings and such

This weekend was crazy. It was Jill and John's wedding Saturday which meant Anna flew in (with Brant) on Friday. Though she spent the night at John's brothers house so I didn't actually see her until Saturday. I did spend some quality time with Brant though :)

We had people to our place Friday night, Saturday was the wedding and people stayed at our place again, then Sunday I had to work 10-2 then Kate's art show. It was busy. However, it was great to have everyone together again, no matter how sporadically we were all together.

Most normal people would have cried during the wedding (I never cry at weddings, I came close at Kate and Matt's, but usually nothing). Not me, I cried at the end of the reception. Then part of the ride home. I am still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that the life I have been building for myself the past five years is over. Everyone I love is moving on, and away from me. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing still while everyone is moving forward.

There is so much going on in my head about life, and love and where my life is going and who my love is going to. It's hard to sort out sometimes. It honestly is so overwhelming and scary that I just want to crawl in a hole. I wish God would just pick me up and drop me where I am supposed to be. I wish he would just tell me "yes, you will be happy again." Because right now it's really hard to believe that the best times in my life aren't over. It's really hard to believe life could get any better then what it has been the past five years.


Why does everyone else seem so happy with their lives? Am I the only one that is struggling with this?