My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It was supposed to be like Just Friends, When Harry Met Sally, Made of Honor, or Definately, Maybe. It was NOT suppose to be like My Best Friend's Wedding.
I had the beginning right. We were friends. I considered him to be the boy that I was closest to. He told me I would be great and believed in me. He refused to argue with me about the stupid things, but apologized when he knew he had hurt me. He made me hug it out. We would have heart to hearts and I would tell him how much I believed in him and knew he could be great too. There where times when he frustrated me to no end and I couldn't handle him. But, I could never stay mad at him for long. He just had a way of making me forgive him.
However, we did not share a kiss that started out friendly then got suddenly intimate. He did not have a book I had been looking for for years and then gave it to me and after I got mad at him for keeping it he did not say nice things to me to make me fall in love with him. And, he did not show up on my doorstep after humiliating me and tell me very very nice things like how he wants to have babies with me and marry me.
No, it went more like the My Best Friends Wedding scene. Julia is chasing Michael and Michael is chasing the girl he actually loves. Then Julia calls her gay friend and he says "who's chasing you?" Yes it turned out much more like that.
I am trying to not be self-pitying. I know my heart has not even begun to break in ways I have seen my friends hearts break. But, it still hurts.
It has been an exhausting week, and I even had Monday off! Next week it is all me in the classroom. I am actually ready for it. I feel like I need to lay down the law a little more so they don't take advantage, but I can do that. Monday night I was freaking out that I couldn't do this, and now I just can't wait to have my own classroom.
I move soon, like this weekend. Matt found a place that is really nice. My room is small, but I don't have to share it with anyone so it's not a big deal. Matt is giving me a desk too, which will be really helpful. Kate's parents are letting me use a bed and even offered bunk beds, so I might take advantage of that for when I have visitors :)
Anna's last weekend. I don't want to talk about it.
I heard this song on the way home from school:
Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself.
I am exhausted. I can't believe we have only had two days of school this week and I am already so tired. I am fully in charge starting next week. I am nervous. Today I was doing a lesson on nouns and I just could not figure out how to explain them to the kids. I had to ask Mrs. Hobson to help me. I felt like a FAILURE!
I just hope the next 7 weeks go by fast so I can see my babies at the daycare! I miss them! I hardly ever felt like a failure there.
With all those people around how can I still feel lonely?
Sometimes I wish for a life that is bigger then mine.
My best friend and I have been best friends for 4 years now. It was Skating for Tukes our freshman year that we met. Our other friend Annie and I "skated" into Cory's room to find a hat to match the rest of my "skater cute" outfit. We didn't really hang out at Skating for Tukes, but afterward she came and stalked Ben with us... then we were basically inseparable from that moment on. I don't have a picture from that night with Annie :(
This is a picture from our 1 year anniversary. Sophomores. My hair is so dark! 
This is our two year anniversary. Juniors.
This is last year. Seniors. We missed Skating for Tukes because we were in Jamaica. So we celebrated at Lovers Leap.
This is the first year we wont be together on our anniversary. Skating for Tukes is tonight and Cory is stuck in Brighton for something that probably wont even be fun anyway. I guess we will celebrate when I see her Sunday! It has been way too long since I have seen my best friend!
Cory and I at Strawberry Hill (a day or two before we went there for brunch). Our Mary-Kate and Ashley picture as she calls it <3.
BFF.
So I failed that posting everyday thing. Oh well. I had a really good weekend with the girls. We made the big bed in the living room (futon laid out, the pull out couch out... they come together perfectly) and watched movies. Jill and Kate came and joined Anna, Katie and I. It was a really good way to start the first weekend back. My views on the movies we watched:
When Harry Met Sally - One of my all time favorites. I actually forgot how much I love this movie. It has everything, humor, love, great story line. LOVELOVELOVE it! It may be one of the most perfect love stories (or maybe just the one I want for my life).
The Dark Night - SO GOOD! I hadn't seen it, but it is amazing. Heath Ledger... omg... so good. I could go on and on about how great he is in this movie. The movie did start to get long. And I was pretty mad Rachel died. I just think Batman needs a love interest. Also where is Robin? Batman needs Robin. (Kate did tell me a theory Matt has about who will be Robin, and it makes total sense)
Hancock - This was the one I liked the least. It started out with promise. I thought it was pretty funny and I like that he was a superhero that nobody really cared for. However, as it went on I liked it less, especially the end. I just ends. I just don't think it ends answering any of the major questions it set out to ask. So I was disappointed in it.
Saturday night we went sledding at like 11:00. It was really fun. I wore five pairs of pants and they are all wet now. I have one pair of dry sweat pants until I do laundry :) so worth it though!
Here is the Jamaica picture:
This is Matt DeBow and I. I love this picture just because I think we look cute in it. On this morning I woke up to people talking outside Cory and my room (we were in the blue mountains). I went out to see what was going on discovered all the boys were off in the distance climbing a mountain. They made it really far and got up early to do it. Some of us girls just watched them climb. We could barley see them and had binoculars to help us. They got back and were exhausted. We went to Strawberry Hill (a really nice resort) for brunch. Christie gave me the shirt I wore with leggings. Matt was so tired in this picture. Matthew John DeBow became like my brother on this trip. We always sat in the back of the bus together. He would just tell me stories. I loved him before the trip, and I think I love him more since it. 
This is me and the girls I lived with last year after that brunch. We all looked cute so we decided to get a picture.
This last pic is Katrina, Cory and I. We became pretty good friends with Katrina on this trip. While we were at Strawberry Hill we took some pictures. Once again a "we look cute, lets take pictures" kind of thing.
These are picture from a school we visited in Black River. We sang songs with the ENTIRE school. Then we split up into groups of two and went around and talked to the classes. It was so interesting to see their school system at work. Also Dr. Tim introduced each of us. For everyone else he just said their name and they stepped forward, but of course that was not the case for me. He introduced me and then said "can you say drama?" Then added some work about me and drama. It was actually really funny.
The last picture, of Brandon, just shows how much of celebrities we were. They all wanted to touch us. At the drinking fountain these two girls just came up to me and gave me a hug. All the kids were soo cute though!
The boy on the far left in the first picture and the only one in the second picture is David. I fell in love with him when we met him in an orphanage. I literally wanted my parents to adopt him. I think if I could have taken him I would.
On this particular day we stopped at a Salvation Army orphanage. It was like what you imagine an orphanage to be. Lots of kids and beds lined up in rows. My heart was touched and my overall experience in Jamaica opened my eyes, heart, and mind to orphans.
Today was my first day as a student teacher. It was pretty low key. I just observed all day. I think it will end up being really fun and I will like it a lot. There is not much else to say about it at this point.
A year a go I was in Jamaica. I loved that trip much. I actually wish I could go back right now with all the same people. Because of this desire and everything I have decided for the next three weeks I am going to post a picture of Jamaica and tell about it. I just want to remember how much I loved that trip.
These pictures are from a place called Lovers Leap. It may have been the most beautiful place we went in Jamaica. We could actually see the curve of the earth's surface looking out over the ledge. There was a whole tragic love story, that I don't completely remember now, about two people that fell in love but couldn't be together. The ended up jumping off the edge committing suicide, hence the name Lover's Leap.
It is 2009.
I'm trying to think of words to describe 2008. I would have to go with: Weddings and Change.
Last night was fun some of my cousins came and two of my roommates from school and of course Alex.
I think I have come to love Alex even more over this break. I have been with just about every single day. Actually I am fairly certain Christmas was the only day I did not see her. The Christmas Miracle came and she did not have to go to her dad's. I really feel like she's my sister. I mean if I had a sister it would be her.
For 2009 I wish for myself:
Love - I want to love others without holding back. I want my family and friends to know how much I love them and appreciate them. I want to be loved. I want to surround myself with people who I can pour into and who will pour themselves back into me.
Courage - My life is going to change in major ways in 2009 I want the courage to make life altering decisions.
Strength - I am going to need a lot of it to get through all those changes. I need to be brave. Either I am stronger then I think, or I'm not as strong as I believe I am. I guess this year I will see which of those it is.
For 2009 I wish for great things. That my dreams that seem so big will not be too large for me to achieve. That the things I fear will not overcome me. That I won't leave behind everyone I love to find loneliness. That God will use me in ways I could never dream or imagine (and maybe in some ways I have dreamed of).
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
William Shakespeare