Alone

This morning I woke up to my two best friends sleeping on an air mattress right next to my bed (I mean the mattress was touching my bed). After they left I spent the rest of the day watching One Tree Hill trying to forget about how lonely I am. It is really hard for me to go from a weekend of being around people and laughing and talking and laughing more and talking more and watching movies, followed by eating and more talking and laughing to nothing. I was not made to live alone. I don't want to live alone anymore. It has been just over a month and I really don't like it. I get scared from the noises the house makes. I have things to say, but no one to say them to. I feel as empty as my house is. I dread going to sleep alone after two nights of having people sleeping in the same house as me.

For Christmas break I was home (in Spring Lake) for almost a week. I didn't do a whole lot, like hang out with friends or anything. In fact a lot of time I spent just watching TV, but I never felt lonely. My brothers and my parents were around and I would talk to them and joke with them, and even argue with them. The minute I walked back in my house in Jackson the loneliness washed over me. The same thing happened today when Katie and Cory left. I am not looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning and looking over at my empty room.