This had to be written so I will not forget

Today I went to an infant/toddler conference for work. The keynote shared the following story and I don't want to forget it. I also want to share it.

Romania was (is?) a very poor country and no one was having babies because they could not afford to take care of them. There was a Czar in power that noticed the population was dwindling. He wanted to do something about it so he offered a stipend to young women who had children. So everything was going well people were having big families and there was enough money to support the famililes.

Then, the Czar got overthrow and a new Czar came to power. This Czar saw how much money was going out and he didn't like it so he ended the whole stipend thing (this is a summary of a more in depth story). Suddenly no one had money to care for their children, but the orphanages only took children birth to 2 so everyone gave up their babies. These orphanages were over crowded and it was like 40 children to 1 caregiver. The general rule was don't hold the babies, don't look at them, give them as little as possible because if you held them or rocked them they would continue to want/expect that and the caretakers would have too many crying babies and not enough people to nurture them.

As time went on these orphans got adopted and came to America, but didn’t fair very well. They were getting in trouble and going to juvenile detention places, and later in life going to jail. They were basically becoming low functioning members of society, however once in a while there was a Romanian orphan who did well and became a normal functioning member of society.

So there’s this guy that was really interested in brain development and he got this huge grant to do brain scans on these Romanian orphans. He figured that the ones who were doing well were more attractive as infants and toddlers and despite the no contact rule where held and rocked. He goes to Romania and starts doing his tests and scans and stuff and as it turns out all the orphans who had the higher amount of activity in the brain, i.e. are doing well in life came from one orphanage, in one wing, on one floor.

Come to find out there was a janitor who everyday after she was done doing all her work would rock each baby. She would pick them up and tell them they were beautiful, then rock them and put them back and tell them she loved them. When this researcher guy figured this out he found that janitor and told her what a difference she had made for these children. Her response was that she never felt like she was doing enough.