So it's been awhile. Lets get right down to it. I am a toddler room lead teacher. Is this the job I thought I would have even a month ago? NO. Am I happy with it? Let's weigh the options:
Pros
I have worked here for three years
I know the staff well
I have a good handle on the curriculum
It's MY class
I feel trusted by the director/other staff
The kids keep me laughing and on my toes all the time
Cons
Everyone seems to have an opinion on what the toddlers should be doing/not doing ect.
A certain teacher assistant... who is going to be my assistant this fall (ugh)
At this point I do not have benefits, and am not considered full time staff (though I do work 40 hours a week)
Two words: POTTY TRAINING
Two years are a handful... esp 8 at a time
Is this really what I went to school for?
Also, One Tree Hill seasons were on sale at Best Buy, so of course I had to get some. I got seasons 1 and 2. My mom got seasons 3 and 4 for me for my birthday or Christmas.
At least I have good TV to watch.
I never have good news. I have applied and applied and applied for jobs... NOTHING... not even a stinking interview. What am I doing wrong?
I can not be a toddler teacher for the rest of my life, not even the rest of the year, I don't even want to do it the rest of the week!
And if I hear one more time about how God has the perfect job for me I may beat someone... Ok if he really has a job for me could he please let this come together soon.
fml
Job searching has it's highs and lows...
like applying and applying and applying and hearing nothing
finally getting a call for a phone interview
getting an e-mail saying they had a "variety of applicants"... aka they didn't want me
finding a new website
applying some more
hearing nothing
applying some more.
I would just like the world to know I would be a good teacher, but if you wont let me teach I may have to explore other options... not sure what those are, but I hope I am not reduced to street corners.
and thus ensues my rant:
I hate it when people say that girls just use PMS as an excuse. I am a woman and can tell the difference between when I am about to start, am on my period, or have just finished. Before I start I get really annoyed and can't stand anyone. Small things piss me off (more then usual) and I want to eat everything and crave pop. During the period I am fairly normal, somewhat emotional. After I get sad for like two days.
I am not making this up, some months it's worse then others. Seriously my hormones are not quite normal for like 10-12 days out of the month.
Also the cramping, bloating, hunger. Man oh man being a girl is not easy.
Plus we have to give birth... then have a period for six whole weeks.
Labels: Random Thoughts
As I sit here and watch Sex and the City on TBS it I ponder why Carrie would ever choose Big over Aiden. In this particular episode Carrie is freaking out about marrying Aiden. I know the way it ends, I know she just can't marry Aiden blah, blah. I just don't know why. Big is a jerk. I mean the Sex and the City movie was a disappointment to me because Big was soooo dumb.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH AIDEN CARRIE???
I would have chosen Aiden. I would have married him and never had let him go.
This is one of those episodes I watch hoping the ending will turn out differently. It never does though. "There are some walls you can push through and some you can't. That was the only night we would ever spend on the other side of the wall. The next day Aiden moved out."
I babysat Maggie, Cyrus, and Ellie tonight. They were soo good for me. They are such sweet kids. Annie asked me if I would be able to be the overnight person when the new baby is born. I said I would love to. Oh yea, the new baby's name is going to be Kate :) Well Kathrine, but they will call her Kate.
Laura called me last night and said they are having a girl. I called that from the beginning. Everyone else was saying boy, but I knew girl. Also her due date has changed to November 8, the day after my birthday... I told Laura to have her a day early so we can share a birthday :) we'll see.
That would be great though, a baby with my name and a baby with my birthday.
Tonight I rented He's Just Not That Into You and it basically told the story of my life. I mean I resonate with the main girl, Gigi, like woah. I mean she's just this girl waiting for the right guy to come around and wondering why they never call back and making up all these excuses as to why they're not calling back, and all her friends are saying things to make her feel better when in actuality he's just not into her.
I also learned that I am NOT the exception, I'm the rule (watch the movie to understand this).
Favorite quote:
Gigi: So you mean I should just run from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex (a male Alex): Yes.
Gigi: But there won't be anyone left.
Things I learned:
1. If he's acting like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
---It sounds like DUH, but really you think oh he's just busy, or some other crap when in actuality he doesn't care. This reminded me of a boy, (insert name here), who I now believe at one point did give a shit, but doesn't now. I mean he didn't even give me a proper goodbye when I left his life not knowing if we will see each other again. I almost called him after watching this movie and yelled at him "YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" but I refrained.
2. Girls read way too much into things and string these moments together to make things seem like there is more to the relationship then there really is.
---Gigi did this in the movie, I do this ALL THE TIME in real life. I actually cried during the part of the movie where Alex is yelling at Gigi because she did this. I just know what it feels like to like a guy and hope so much that he likes you back that any little hint, no matter how insignificant, means so much more then was ever meant by the guy.
3. If a guy wants to be with you he'll make it happen.
---I think so often I, and I'm going to assume other females, think a guy is just waiting for the right time, or scared to show how he feels, or some other stupid excuse. Truth be told if any of those boys had ever liked me they would have made something happen.
I feel like I have a new outlook on dating, sure a more cynical one, but never the less, a more realistic one. Truth be told liking boys is a waste of time because rarely is it that they like you back. I don't think I ever want to like a boy again. It would sure save me a lot of trouble. I wonder if that is possible.
I did not see my mother today. I actually worked and seated a lot of mothers :)
I did call my mother. I do love her and feel very VERY thankful that she is mine. We've been through a lot, me and her, and the older I get the more she becomes my friend, not just my mother.
I hope to be a mother someday.
First I should probably figure out some other parts of my life... like where the heck I am going to live and work in four months.