P to the MS

and thus ensues my rant:

I hate it when people say that girls just use PMS as an excuse. I am a woman and can tell the difference between when I am about to start, am on my period, or have just finished. Before I start I get really annoyed and can't stand anyone. Small things piss me off (more then usual) and I want to eat everything and crave pop. During the period I am fairly normal, somewhat emotional. After I get sad for like two days.

I am not making this up, some months it's worse then others. Seriously my hormones are not quite normal for like 10-12 days out of the month.

Also the cramping, bloating, hunger. Man oh man being a girl is not easy.

Plus we have to give birth... then have a period for six whole weeks.

Big vs. Aiden

As I sit here and watch Sex and the City on TBS it I ponder why Carrie would ever choose Big over Aiden. In this particular episode Carrie is freaking out about marrying Aiden. I know the way it ends, I know she just can't marry Aiden blah, blah. I just don't know why. Big is a jerk. I mean the Sex and the City movie was a disappointment to me because Big was soooo dumb.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH AIDEN CARRIE???

I would have chosen Aiden. I would have married him and never had let him go.

This is one of those episodes I watch hoping the ending will turn out differently. It never does though. "There are some walls you can push through and some you can't. That was the only night we would ever spend on the other side of the wall. The next day Aiden moved out."

I babysat Maggie, Cyrus, and Ellie tonight. They were soo good for me. They are such sweet kids. Annie asked me if I would be able to be the overnight person when the new baby is born. I said I would love to. Oh yea, the new baby's name is going to be Kate :) Well Kathrine, but they will call her Kate.

Laura called me last night and said they are having a girl. I called that from the beginning. Everyone else was saying boy, but I knew girl. Also her due date has changed to November 8, the day after my birthday... I told Laura to have her a day early so we can share a birthday :) we'll see.

That would be great though, a baby with my name and a baby with my birthday.

He's just not that into you, wait I mean ME.

Tonight I rented He's Just Not That Into You and it basically told the story of my life. I mean I resonate with the main girl, Gigi, like woah. I mean she's just this girl waiting for the right guy to come around and wondering why they never call back and making up all these excuses as to why they're not calling back, and all her friends are saying things to make her feel better when in actuality he's just not into her.

I also learned that I am NOT the exception, I'm the rule (watch the movie to understand this).

Favorite quote:
Gigi: So you mean I should just run from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex (a male Alex): Yes.
Gigi: But there won't be anyone left.

Things I learned:
1. If he's acting like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
---It sounds like DUH, but really you think oh he's just busy, or some other crap when in actuality he doesn't care. This reminded me of a boy, (insert name here), who I now believe at one point did give a shit, but doesn't now. I mean he didn't even give me a proper goodbye when I left his life not knowing if we will see each other again. I almost called him after watching this movie and yelled at him "YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" but I refrained.

2. Girls read way too much into things and string these moments together to make things seem like there is more to the relationship then there really is.
---Gigi did this in the movie, I do this ALL THE TIME in real life. I actually cried during the part of the movie where Alex is yelling at Gigi because she did this. I just know what it feels like to like a guy and hope so much that he likes you back that any little hint, no matter how insignificant, means so much more then was ever meant by the guy.

3. If a guy wants to be with you he'll make it happen.
---I think so often I, and I'm going to assume other females, think a guy is just waiting for the right time, or scared to show how he feels, or some other stupid excuse. Truth be told if any of those boys had ever liked me they would have made something happen.

I feel like I have a new outlook on dating, sure a more cynical one, but never the less, a more realistic one. Truth be told liking boys is a waste of time because rarely is it that they like you back. I don't think I ever want to like a boy again. It would sure save me a lot of trouble. I wonder if that is possible.

Mother's Day

I did not see my mother today. I actually worked and seated a lot of mothers :)

I did call my mother. I do love her and feel very VERY thankful that she is mine. We've been through a lot, me and her, and the older I get the more she becomes my friend, not just my mother.

I hope to be a mother someday.

First I should probably figure out some other parts of my life... like where the heck I am going to live and work in four months.

Oh yes

Graduation... so close. I am less stressed about getting a job because I am going to a job fair on Friday. I believe I am a quality person and can obtain a job in education, therefore I am going to walk in with confidence and just be like "Hi, I'm Kate. I am going to be a great teacher and am willing to go just about anywhere in the USA... wanna hire me?" (bat the the eyelashes a little there).

Actually these are the states I've ruled out:
California (too common everyone goes there)
Colorado (I am trying to get away from snow)
Kansas (Seriously, do I need more of a reason then it's Kansas?)
Texas (People in Texas seem to have big egos)
Wisconsin (Once again the snow thing)
Arizona (no real reason, it just has no appeal to me)

My current top runners are:
Georgia (there is going to be a school district at this job fair that is going to be opening FOUR elementary schools next year!)
Nebraska (seems random, but I know people around there, and I've heard it's a growing community)
North Carolina (they need some good teachers/I could live near Wilmington <3)
Virginia (just has appeal)
Maryland (lots of school districts are going to be at this job fair)



The convo I overheard on the bus trip today with my pre-kers :
Claire: I want glasses
Jocelynn (who wears pink glasses): Why? Because they're cute?
Claire: Yes
Jocelynn: Well you need a lazy eye like me. I have a strong eye and a lazy eye.

Kids these days... we took them to Meijer due to unforeseen circumstances with the school we were supposed to visit. I really think some of them had more fun looking at the toys in Meijer.

Cap and Gown

Yesterday I picked up my cap and gown at the "grad fair". I put that in quotation marks like that because lets be real, it was like four tables set up in half the fireside. One of the tables was just to sign in, on was to buy a class ring (does anyone even do that?). One was to sign up for the alumni association (woops I missed that table). One was where you pick up your cap and gown (obviously the most important table). The last one was this survey thing. Yes it was pretty lame.

Today after school I cut Mark and Ryan's hair. As I was cutting Mark's hair I told him this would probably be the last time I cut his hair... like ever... in our lives. He made some comment about yea until we're 30. I'm starting to feel sentimental. I mean c'mon the last time I'm cutting his hair? Is this really something I'm going to miss three years from now? Well.... lets be honest, probably.

I can just feel myself getting more and more sentimental as the semester comes to an end.

Konstantine

I want to be able to go to dinner and eat by myself. There is a guy who comes into the restaurant every Sunday and eats by himself and reads the newspaper. There is a lady who has come in a couple times by herself and ate alone too. I want to be able to do that.

Today I made a small step in that direction. I went to Quizno's and ate there all by myself. I know it's not a sit down type restaurant, but it's a small start towards my goal.

I am starting to get really scared about the future. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about it. I hope that's normal.

I'm listening to Konstantine by Something Corporate. I love this song.

"And then you bring me home, afraid to find out that you're alone."