Wonerwall

My friends are becoming inspired, and getting full time jobs...

and I want to bury myself in a whole more then ever. Growing up sucks. I advise you if it can be avoided avoid it at all costs.








I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
And maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.

Remember how I was going to attempt to write a blog everyday for the whole month. FAIL. Oh well. I have been unable to be close to a computer. That is a false statement. I have not been near MY computer.

This weekend Katie and I went to visit Cory at her NEW APARTMENT! It was fun. Made me realize who I am and who I'm NOT. I will say this much I know I am a person who values relationships over most other things. I also love to make and edit movies. Yes that is what we did with our Saturday night. I will post it, but not for another month (there is reason for this, but that will all be explained later).

I hate Sunday nights because I DREAD Monday mornings. Why couldn't the weekend last five days and the week last three? Now THAT would be a good life.

I am now 24

Old. I think 24 is going to be a year of changes and a year of figuring out a bit more of my life. I don't know where I am going in life, but there is some kind of journey waiting for me.

Birthday WEEEEEEK

Usually my birthday is cause for huge amounts of celebration, mostly because I tell everyone "It's my birthday and you have to do what I want." Therefore, they comply. HOWEVER this year I forget my birthday is only 2 days away. It's like it's not even my birthday week... which was by far my favorite week in years past. Growing up is so weird. Everything seems to be loosing it's thrill. I'm just a normal birthday girl trying to downplay her age. I mean no big party or celebration. Just normal everyday kinda stuff, which is slightly a bummer. I really used to love making everyone do what I wanted them to.

Last year birthday was AWESOME. Seriously. Spent with some of my fav. people in a great apartment with a dance floor (the kitchen) and all. And now pictures to reminisce.

Leaves

Today I took my toddlers to another teacher's house on a bus trip. It was a great way to spend the day. Though it was slightly chilly, the was came out and really warmed us up. My kids love the city bus. They actually cheer for it when we see it. So bus trips are always exciting for them. This bus trip especially because we got to play in leaves. They love to just throw leaves in the air. It really is pretty when they do it over and over again. They just throw leaves and laugh and do it again and again. Days like today are good days that make me think "why would I ever want to leave these cute toddlers?"

National blog what?

I guess it is national blog month. Therefore I am going to do my best to update my blog more then once this month. We'll see how that goes. The most exciting thing that has happened is that my cousin Laura had he baby! Evelyn Lee was born October 30, 2009 weighting 6lbs 8oz. She is so tiny and precious. I got to spend all Sunday afternoon with her and it was the best. I can not wait to hold that beautiful babe again.


Baby Evelyn and I <3


There she is being a precious baby


My Aunt Debbie had to see her through the door because she was sick.


My cousin Laura, the new mom. She is really proud and just can't get enough of her baby. Makes me excited to be a mom someday (let me put that emphasis on someday).

Rewind

There is something to be said about being a freshman or sophomore in college. It is such an odd mix of self-confidence and insecurity (or at least it was for me). I would dress up and be loud and obnoxious and not really care what people think, but at the same time I was trying to figure out who I was and I really did care what everyone thought of me.

I started thinking about this because I was visiting my little brother at SAU and he had these friends over who were sophomores. They were talking about Lowell Lobby (a place I spent many days/nights during my two years on Alpha 2) and how they didn't know anyone, and they just needed to hang out in the lobby more to get to know people. And I know I am supposed to grow up and live in the real world, but at that moment I just wanted it to be sophomore year again. My only worry was if I was going to have to stay up to 2 or 3 in the morning, and if Cory and Yoder were dating, and what we were going to do that weekend. Life was all about my friends, and fun. Rarely about school work.

Now I just try and make it through each day so I can get to the weekend and lay around and do nothing to prepare myself for the next week. I dread Sunday afternoon. If I could rewind my life 5 years and go back I would. I would honestly not change very much of it (just a few things here and there). I would love to feel the freedom of being 19 years old again. I think I would appreciate it more the second time around.